A couple needs to work together as a team.
Image: Pexels/Ron Lach
As the economic and social landscape continues to evolve, so too do the roles traditionally assigned within marriage.
One of the most significant and sometimes debated shifts is the growing number of households where women earn more than men.
With more women achieving success in education, leadership, and career advancement, the structure of modern relationships is changing in ways that challenge long-standing norms.
But alongside this progress come emotional, psychological, and societal questions that couples must navigate together.
Marriage and family therapist Dr. Bakhe Dlamini recently shared his insights on TikTok, offering practical advice for couples adjusting to these changing dynamics.
“We need to prepare couples for seasons. Marriage comes with seasons,” he says, reminding us that the vows “for better or worse, for richer or poorer” aren’t just ceremonial.
They’re a commitment to life’s ups and downs within the marriage.
Dr. Dlamini emphasises that a shift in income shouldn’t shake the foundation of a partnership.
Using his own experience, he reflects on the five years when he was unemployed and his wife supported them.
“We didn’t have separate accounts,” he recalls. “We budgeted together, and we never argued. We are a family. We are a couple.”
In response to a question about men being content with a partner who provides for them, Dr. Dlamini is clear that just because one earns more, it doesn’t automatically make someone the “provider.”
When his business took off during the pandemic, he invited his wife to join him, giving her the freedom to explore her own passions within the shared vision of their family.
To him, marriage is about rising and falling together.
“It shouldn't be a debate about who brings in what. We are a team. Same WhatsApp group,” he says.
On the topic of women not wanting to be with a man who earns less, Dlamini cautions against drawing quick conclusions.
“Just because a man earns less doesn’t mean he isn’t working as hard,” he says. “Let’s not insult each other.”
He challenges the notion that happiness in a relationship hinges on the man being the sole provider.
He explains that the idea that manhood or leadership only exists when there’s abundance is a superficial one.
Dr. Dlamini’s message is simple: Couples should focus less on comparing income and more on building a unified home and that regardless of who earns more, success in marriage comes from acting as a team.
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