Adolescence hines a light on something every parent should be paying attention to: the emotional intensity and pressure of growing up online.
Image: Netflix
Weeks after its release on Netflix, Adolescence continues to make headlines around the world.
So much so that the United Kingdom government plans to show it at high schools.
Co-created and written by Graham and Jack Thorne, and directed by Philip Barantini, Adolescence is centred around 13-year-old Jamie, played by Owen Cooper, who stabs his class girl, Katie, to death.
The four-part series explores both the toxic impact of social media and the spike in knife-related crimes in the United Kingdom.
It takes the viewer through the several factors that contributed to Jamie’s actions, including his lack of self-esteem, perceived bullying at school, and access to online incel propaganda.
According to Netflix, when Katie publicly accuses Jamie of being an incel on Instagram, he becomes embarrassed and enraged. The stabbing occurs soon after.
According to Managing Director at Futurewise, Arno Janse van Vuuren, for today's teenagers, relationships don’t just live in classrooms or after-school hangouts – they exist, thrive, and sometimes explode across group chats, TikTok and Instagram stories.
He said with peer dynamics playing out in public and in real-time, the digital world has become both a stage and a minefield. And while the tech is new, the emotional stakes are very real.
"Parents often underestimate how overwhelming digital drama can be for young people. What might seem trivial to an adult – like being left out of a group chat – can be deeply distressing to a teen, especially when identity and belonging feel so fragile," he said.
Janse van Vuuren explained that digital drama, unlike in-person conflict, is often constant, unfiltered and harder to escape.
"Messages arrive instantly, group chats never sleep, and misunderstandings are easy when tone and context are lost in translation. And because it all happens in front of an audience – even if it’s just a few dozen classmates – embarrassment, rejection and betrayal can feel amplified," he said.
Changes in emoji language: "As highlighted in Adolescence, emojis can offer clues to a child’s state of mind, acting as emotional smoke signals. A sudden uptick in the use of 🙃 (awkwardness),💔(heartbreak), or 🤐 (silence) may signal that something’s off," Janse van Vuuren said. "And don’t make the mistake of thinking that the way you might interpret an emoji is the way a Gen Z or Alpha might use it – if you’re not sure of the context, check with your child or one of their peers, if they’re not communicating with you," he added.
Withdrawal or hyper-engagement: A teen glued to their phone or, conversely, avoiding it entirely might be navigating a situation they don’t know how to handle.
Disrupted sleep or school disengagement: Emotional upheaval often spills into physical and academic changes, from insomnia and moodiness to skipped homework or sudden changes in peer groups.
'Vaguebooking' or cryptic posts: These are posts that seem unusually sad, angry or distant, with no context, could be quiet cries for help.
It's often difficult to speak to teenagers without feeling like you are snooping or invading their personal space. Janse van Vuuren said it is vital that parents create a space for calm and open dialogue.
"Start by being curious, not critical. Ask them how they feel about things they’re seeing or experiencing online and listen without judgment. If they trust you as a sounding board, they’re more likely to come to you when things go wrong," he said.
He added that snooping or monitoring every message can backfire, damaging the trust teens need to feel safe opening up. Instead, model healthy online habits yourself, whether that’s unplugging regularly or thinking twice before posting.
"Securing your child’s education means supporting the whole child – not just their grades or tuition plans, but their emotional resilience and ability to thrive in the world as it is now. Parents are unable to shield children from every conflict but equipping them with skills and support can greatly help.
"When we do that, we’re not just raising good students, we’re raising strong, emotionally intelligent people. Whether it happens in the hallways or the group chat, growing up is never drama-free. But with the right support, today’s teens can come through it wiser, stronger, and ready for whatever the future holds," Janse van Vuuren said.
seanne.rall@iol.co.za
IOL