Bullying is often perceived as overt aggression, but it's more subtle forms can be just as harmful. CEO of Hidden Strength, Linsey Lunny enlightens how self-awareness, empathy, and introspection can help prevent bullying in various aspects of life
From understanding the line between playful banter and harmful behaviour to creating safe spaces for open conversations, Linsey’s guidance provides valuable tools for anyone looking to break the cycle of bullying in their communities.
Glamour: You emphasise the importance of self-awareness in preventing bullying. Why is it so crucial for people to reflect on their own actions before labelling others as bullies?
Linsey: None of us are perfect, and sometimes our words or actions impact others more deeply than we realise or intend. Before labelling others as a bully, it’s so important to take a step back and reflect on our own behaviour. Are we communicating with empathy? Are our words and actions having the intended effect? Often, we may be projecting our hurt onto others. Unintentional harm happens when we’re carrying our own pain, and letting it impact our relationships with others. Recognising this can stop harmful behaviour in its tracks.
Glamour: You mention that humour at someone else's expense could be a sign of crossing a line. Can you explain the difference between playful joking and bullying behaviour in a social setting?
Linsey: Banter is a normal aspect of relationships, however sometimes it can go too far. Some signs to slow down on the joking include paying attention to the time and place. Are you hanging out in a casual setting or are you making a speech at someone’s big event? Is this the first joke or is it the tenth joke of the evening? Are all your friends joining in on the joke at one person’s expense? Are you making these jokes in front of their spouse or boss? Is your friend forcing a laugh or becoming more quiet and closed off? Paying attention to social cues is key, and if you feel you may have gone too far, it could be a good idea to tone it down, include a compliment to the person, or make a self-deprecating joke aimed at yourself.
Playful joking turns to bullying behaviour when not all of the parties are in on the joke. Ongoing jokes and piling on against one person is a sign that it’s becoming more one-sided. There are also times when joking with your friends is not appropriate, and to do so can be seen as more malicious in nature.
Glamour: When someone says they're being "too sensitive" or "overreacting," what impact does that have on the person being dismissed, and how can we avoid invalidating others’ feelings?
Linsey: Telling someone they are being too sensitive or that they are overreacting can shut down conversations that matter to them, closing down the line of communication and preventing future conversations. At best, this invalidates another person’s feelings, and at worst this is a telltale sign of gaslighting, an abusive tactic meant to isolate a person and break down their sense of trust in their own meWe can avoid invalidating others’ feelings by listening, asking for further clarification on what exactly is upsetting them, and then verbalising those feelings back to the person. Saying, “So what I am hearing you say is…” can go a long way. Often, people just want to be heard, and doing this small thing can go a long way.
Glamour: In many situations, people may use power dynamics or knowledge of insecurities to control or intimidate others. How can we recognise when we might be using these tactics unintentionally, and what should we do to address this behaviour?
Linsey: It’s easy to overlook when we’re using power to control a situation, especially if it’s unintentional. A good sign to watch for is how people respond—do they seem hesitant, nervous, or like they’re walking on eggshells around us? Are we steering conversations, decisions, or outcomes in a way that shuts others down rather than invites them in?
If we catch ourselves doing this, the best thing to do is take a step back and check our motives. Are we trying to get our way, prove a point, or protect our own ego at someone else’s expense? A little self-awareness goes a long way. Owning up to it, adjusting how we communicate, and making space for others to have a voice can shift the dynamic into something more balanced and positive.
Glamour: What are some common signs that indicate a person may not realize they're being a bully, and how can they start shifting their perspective toward more empathetic behavior?
Linsey: A lot of people don’t realise they’re being a bully because they don’t see themselves as “mean” or “bad.” But bullying isn’t just about being openly aggressive—it can show up in more subtle ways, like constantly shutting people down, making jokes at someone’s expense, using guilt to get what you want, or always needing to have the upper hand. If people seem nervous around you, avoid challenging you, or laugh at your jokes in a way that feels forced, it might be a sign that your words or actions are coming off harsher than you intend.
The first step to shifting your perspective is being open to the idea that you might be causing harm, even if it’s unintentional. Pay attention to how people react to you, ask for honest feedback, and really listen without getting defensive. Practicing empathy—seeing situations from the other person’s point of view—can help reframe interactions in a way that builds people up instead of breaking them down. Small changes, like being mindful of your tone, giving others space to speak, and choosing kindness over control, can make a big difference in how you connect with others.
Glamour: With one third of the world’s youth experiencing bullying, how can introspection play a role in preventing the cycle of bullying in schools, friendships, and online spaces?
Introspection can make a real difference in stopping the cycle of bullying. It’s about taking a moment to reflect and ask, Am I treating people with kindness? Sometimes, we don’t realize the impact of our actions—excluding someone, making jokes at their expense, or using social status to have control over a situation. It’s not always intentional, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
In schools, friendships, and online spaces, a little self-awareness can go a long way. If more people paused to consider how their words and actions affect others, we’d see more understanding and less harm. It’s about checking in with yourself: Am I making others feel included and respected? Encouraging this kind of reflection helps create spaces where people feel safe, valued, and supported.
Glamour: For those who suspect they might be bullying someone, what practical steps can they take to make amends and build healthier, more respectful relationships moving forward?
Linsey: If you suspect you might be bullying someone, the first step is to take an honest look at your behaviour without getting defensive. Recognising the impact of your words and actions is a huge step toward change.
To make amends, start with a sincere apology—one that acknowledges the harm without making excuses. A simple statement like “I realise I’ve hurt you, and I’m really sorry. That wasn’t okay, and I want to do better.” can go a long way. Then, back it up with action. Shift how you interact with them—give them space to speak, treat them with kindness, and make sure your words and actions reflect respect.
Moving forward, focus on being more self-aware in your relationships. Leading with empathy, lifting others up rather than putting them down, and being open to feedback can help you grow and build stronger, healthier connections. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and listening when people set boundaries also plays a big role in breaking harmful patterns.
Glamour: Hidden Strength is all about supporting young people in a safe, anonymous environment. How do you think platforms like this can help foster the self-awareness and empathy needed to prevent bullying on a larger scale?
Linsey: Hidden Strength can help people connect on a platform dedicated to mental health. There, young people can meet with mental health professionals, participate in peer-to-peer support, and get mental health resources in a digestible format.
One of the most powerful ways it fosters self-awareness and empathy is by creating a safe, anonymous environment where young people can talk about their struggles without fear of judgment. This kind of support system allows individuals to process their emotions in a healthy way, reducing the likelihood of projecting pain onto others through bullying. Through peer-to-peer discussions, users can also gain different perspectives, helping them recognise harmful behaviours—both in themselves and others—and learn healthier ways to navigate conflicts.
Glamour: Social media has made bullying more pervasive and harder to escape. How can someone recognise if they are engaging in online bullying, even unintentionally, and what steps can they take to change their behaviour?
Linsey: Online bullying isn’t always obvious—it can happen through harsh comments, exclusion, passive-aggressive posts, or even piling onto someone in a way that feels like “just a joke.” Recognising if you’re engaging in online bullying starts with looking at how you interact with others. If you’re repeatedly criticising, mocking, or targeting someone, even indirectly, it might be crossing the line. Pay attention to how people react—if they seem upset, withdraw, or block you, it’s worth reflecting on whether your words or actions are causing harm.
To change your behaviour, start by pausing before you post or comment. Ask yourself if what you’re saying is constructive or just hurtful. If you realise you’ve hurt someone, take accountability—apologise sincerely and avoid justifying your actions. Shifting to a more positive online presence can also help. This also means muting certain words and blocking influencers or accounts that contribute to a negative online feed. What we consume, we become, and if we are constantly consuming negative content, it can negatively impact our mental health, which can leech out into our real relationships with others.
Glamour: Parents, teachers, and mentors often focus on helping victims of bullying, but how can they support someone who may be exhibiting bullying behaviours to encourage positive change?
Linsey: Supporting someone who is exhibiting bullying behaviour requires both accountability and guidance. Instead of just focusing on punishment, parents, teachers, and mentors can encourage self-reflection by helping them recognise the impact of their actions. Since bullying often stems from deeper issues like insecurity or frustration, approaching the conversation with understanding rather than judgment can lead to real change.
Teaching empathy, conflict resolution, and emotional awareness provides them with the tools to shift their behaviour. Positive reinforcement also helps—acknowledge efforts to be kind and encourage activities that promote confidence and teamwork.
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