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Creating your wedding guest list is one of the most essential parts of the wedding planning process. The number of guests at your nuptials will dictate everything, from the venues available to the cost to the overall vibe of your day. After all, a small affair with 20 of your closest circle and a 500-person event filled with everyone you and your parents have ever met are decidedly different celebrations. Your guest list must be created with care—you’ll want to ensure that your most cherished family and friends are there without going over budget.
To make it all the easier, read on to learn the most important details to take into account when creating your wedding guest list.
Creating your wedding guest list as early as possible is important; it will help you navigate conversations with friends (or co-workers) who might not make the cut. “You’re engaged and excited and you want to let everyone know, so you jump on social media and before you know it, you’re inundated with congratulations from people you haven’t heard from in years! First, know that’s okay,” shares wedding planner Dani Blasena of HauteFêtes. “If you’re having a smaller wedding, you can let friends know that you’re planning a more intimate affair for close friends and family only. If you’re speaking to friends who may be between an [invite or not], you can let them know that you are working on the details and that unfortunately, your venue may not be able to accommodate everyone you want to invite. Weddings are expensive propositions and your friends may be grateful that they don’t have to commit to spending the money to fly to Lake Como again!”
Working on your wedding guest list with your fiancé quickly is also essential to kick off all the important tasks in the wedding planning process. “I always recommend working on your guest list before you book your venue,” recommends Blasena. “Knowing what your guest count is can help you determine if a venue is going to have the capacity to fit the number of guests you’d like to invite.” If you have a specific venue in mind, having the proper number in mind can also help you cut down on potential guests more diligently. “I recommend taking the maximum number of attendees a venue can comfortably fit and reducing it by 10 percent. This will give you a solid guest count to work with.”
Finally, take into consideration what your wedding budget will be and how adding an extra person to your list might affect that. “Keep in mind that the biggest cost driver of any wedding is your guest count,” advises Blasena. “When it comes to budget, it’s important to be realistic about the number of guests you can afford to invite and stick to that number—even if it means trimming your list. It will be worth it, in the long run, to cut out people who you aren’t very close with in order to splurge on the photographer of your dreams or special guest touches such as welcome bags.”
So, who should you invite to your wedding? It’s best to begin with the most essential people in your life, then widen the circle. “When making your guest list, I recommend couples first start with their must-have list, including any plus ones that are required—such as your sister’s ‘on again, off again’ boyfriend,” says Blasena. “This initial list should be a combination of guests from both your immediate families (such as parents, siblings, close relatives, and any kids if you are including children), your best friends including the bridal party, and any ‘must haves’ your parents request. From there, you can then start adding your other friends.”
Of course, it is your special day, not anyone else’s. Inviting your parents’ friends should be a discussion that will likely include a few compromises—especially if they are paying a majority of the bill. “It’s important to chat through expectations and set boundaries early on when it comes to budget, venue size, and guest count. After all, it’s your wedding and not a reunion for your parents,” notes Blasena. “Typically, I recommend couples should get half to two-thirds of the guest list, and then the bride and groom's families each get to invite the balance of the total number split in half. This can get a little tricky depending on who’s paying—one family may get more guests than the other because of that. Furthermore, if your parents have not spoken to the guests they’ve invited in years, you have a right to veto.”
Next comes the tricky question of plus ones. Blasena advises that while there’s no hard and fast rule around this, you must use your own judgment regarding which of your friends and family can bring along a guest. “If an extra guest is the difference between booking that dream venue with a max capacity less than your guest count, then you can always lean on the concept of ‘no ring, no bring,’” she says. “This means that unless a guest is in a serious relationship such as living together or engaged, they wouldn’t be given a plus one. This parameter helps to weed out your serial dating friends and gives you a way to confidently define who makes it onto your guest list.”
Of course, not every invitation sent is going to receive a “yes” RSVP. However, you can’t assume that a certain percentage of your guest list is going to drop off. “Having this mindset is a big wedding planning mistake! Your plans need to reflect the possibility that 100 percent of your guests will be in attendance,” says Blasena. You may have heard of engaged couples creating a wedding guest A list and B list to solve this problem. It essentially creates a backup list of potential guests to invite if those you first sent save-the-dates and wedding invitations to are unable to make it. Blasena isn’t a fan of the practice as the timing can often imply to guests that they were in the second draft. “Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule like friends you may have made after switching jobs or moving homes,” she says.
However, if you do want to make a B list, there are factors to keep in mind. “The key to knowing whether you can add a B list is getting your A list out early enough,” the planner explains. “I recommend mailing your save the date no later than nine months prior to the wedding (and more if it’s overseas and or requires more complex travel plans) and invitations at least six to eight weeks prior to the wedding (eight to ten weeks for a destination wedding). Your RSVP should be due two to three weeks after the mailing, giving you enough time to add on any B’s a minimum of four weeks prior to the wedding. Keep in mind, if your A-list RSVP card has a date that’s earlier than when the B list is being mailed, you may need to do a second print run for your B-list RSVP cards, too.”
Original article available on Vogue US
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