Relationships, dating, love, queer, LGBTQ, dating apps These dating apps will help you navigate the dating pool, Image: FreePik
When a spontaneous meet-cute at an airport or coffee shop just doesn’t seem to be in the cards, swiping through the best dating apps can be a better, more proactive way to find your perfect match. Whether you’re after a long-term relationship or something more casual, there are plenty of options to download and swipe through. But the key to connecting with someone great (instead of ending up with a horror story)? Choosing a service that fits your unique goals and personality.
Dating apps get a bad rap—and, true, not all of them are worth your time (or money). However, “online dating isn’t a one-size-fits-all process,” Fatemeh Farahan, LMFT, founder of Farahan Therapy in Los Angeles, tells SELF. So, just because your best friend met her special person on Tinder doesn’t necessarily mean you will. “Too many people jump in and wonder why they’re disappointed,” Farahan says, which is why she recommends asking yourself a few key questions about your wants and needs before perusing the App Store.
For instance: Are you looking for a casual fling or someone to marry? Do you have specific dealbreakers, or are you open to stepping out of your comfort zone? Are you willing to pay for the pursuit of romance or prefer a free option? It’s also worth considering factors like your age and where you live: “With popular picks like Tinder and Bumble, you’ll typically find prospects all across the country,” Farahan says. “But services with a more niche focus may not have as many members if you’re outside a major city.”
Ultimately, digital dating is a time investment, so focusing your efforts on one or two platforms may increase your chances of landing a quality match (and avoiding swipe fatigue). Below, we’ve rounded up the best dating apps that’ll help you find exactly what you’re looking for—whether that’s love, fun, or something in between.
Best for: People who want to keep things light, fun, and low-key.
This app basically put “swiping right” on the map when it came out in 2012, and it continues to draw in millions of users. According to Farahan, Tinder is a great way to meet lots of nearby single people, especially if you’re new to or intimidated by the online dating scene. All you need to do is answer a few quick prompts, fill out a brief bio, and submit a few of your cutest pics: No need to deal with long questionnaires or overthink every choice—Tinder makes the process lighthearted and fun!
Best for: Finding people who are open to a serious relationship
“Hinge is where a lot of my clients who are done with casual dating find a home,” Farahan says. This app lets you share more than just your name, photo, and a basic bio: You can include details about your religious beliefs, political views, and lifestyle habits (like how often you smoke and drink, for example), which makes it easier to meet a potential partner who aligns with your values. Plus, by answering at least three witty prompts (like, “I’m the type of texter who…” or “We’ll get along if…”), you can present a more well-rounded version of yourself and “connect organically instead of scrambling for pickup lines to start the conversation,” Farahan adds.
Best for: Proactive women (interested in men) and shy guys (interested in women)
On Bumble, only women can make the first move—a huge plus for avoiding aggressive flirting or the dreaded “Send nudes” DM. “For women who are reluctantly just getting into online dating, Bumble can be great because you’re not being bombarded and overwhelmed,” Tennesha Wood, dating coach and founder of The Broom List matchmaking agency for Black professionals, tells SELF. In the case of same-gender pairings, either person can send the first message. However, the receiver only has 24 hours to reply, or else the “connection” will expire (important to know if you’re the type to check in once every other week).
Best for: Anyone looking for quality over quantity
Instead of endless swiping, Coffee Meets Bagel releases a special batch of “fresh bagels” (potential matches) every day at noon. According to the brand, its unique algorithm works by prioritizing your preferences and dealbreakers as “must haves,” then using any additional info (like your interests, education level, etc.) to curate a limited number of choices. So fair warning: “If you prefer having lots of options and quicker interactions, this app might feel a bit restrictive,” Farahan says. On your profile, you can also answer creative icebreaker prompts—like “Among my friends, I’m best known for…” and “What could you give a TED Talk about with zero preparation”—so any admirers can skip the usual, “Hey, what brings you here?” and ask you more specific, engaging questions instead.
Best for: Social butterflies who love starting conversations
“Plenty of Fish is great for people who don’t want to take dating too seriously but are open to seeing where things go,” Farahan says. Unlike many of its competitors, POF allows you to contact any user—even one who hasn’t liked you back—without paying extra. (There’s a limit on how many times a day you can DM non-matches without a subscription, though.) Another plus? Other members can gift you tokens, which you can redeem for temporary perks like a “Boost” (placing your dating profile at the top of search results) or “Super Like” (automatically making your messages the first to appear in someone’s inbox).
Best for: People who want to find love without paying for a subscription
An online dating mainstay since 2003(!), OkCupid has evolved a lot in the past two decades. The platform now has a swipeable app and the best part, according to Farahan, is that most of its coolest benefits are free. After answering a bunch of questions about your interests, beliefs, and life goals, its unique Match % feature reveals your compatibility score with other users based on factors like religion, politics, and shared hobbies. (Yep, kind of like that one Black Mirror episode.)
Best for: People willing to invest in the pursuit of love
Yep, Match.com has a free dating app for your phone. But you’ll probably have better luck with the paid subscription (which starts at $19 per month), Alyssa Dineen, StyleMyProfile founder and author of The Art of Online Dating: Style Your Most Authentic Self and Cultivate a Mindful Dating Life, tells SELF. With a membership, you’ll have access to innovative, premium features like “Expert Picks,” through which real-life relationship pros send you one high-quality profile every three days—and read receipts so you’ll know whether your DM was opened or ignored.
Best for: Anyone dreaming of a spontaneous meet-cute moment
If you’re craving casual, organic encounters over pre-arranged matches, Happn gives you that spark of spontaneity (kinda). Relying on location-based technology, this app tracks your IRL movements to connect you with a list of people you’ve crossed paths with. “Each profile you scroll past could be someone you might actually bump into—maybe on your morning coffee run or your daily commute,” Farahan says. And for anyone concerned about privacy, rest assured that Happn only shows your location to folks you’ve already mutually “liked,” keeping things both safe and serendipitous.
Best for: People who are over the looks-based dating game
It’s basically Love Is Blind—but on your phone. Although lots of us swipe based on physical appearance, S’More aims to interrupt that tendency by forcing users to learn actual things about their matches before seeing their faces. As you chat, each person’s profile photo unblurs. Right now, the app is only available on iOS devices (sorry Android users). But if you’re up for experiencing someone’s personality before you see their face, this is a solid option.
Best for: LGBTQ+ men looking to meet people right here, right now
Grindr is arguably the most famous dating platform for queer men—and it’s pretty user-friendly for anyone who’s intimidated. As soon as you open the app, you’ll see a grid of nearby singles, making it super easy to meet up with people who are just minutes away, Farahan says. Even on the free version, you can immediately start sending texts, voice messages, and perhaps a few spicy photos, if you’re feeling bold. Of course, Grindr has a reputation for being a hookups-only app but hey—that doesn’t mean lasting connections can’t start here too.
Best for: LGBTQ+ singles seeking an alternative to Grindr
Think of Hornet as a social network, where LGBTQ+ folks can find love (or friendship) and get to know each other through Instagram-esque photo feeds, status updates, and live videos. Its interface is pretty intuitive, letting you browse and match easily, and, as an added bonus, you can send profiles to friends (whether they’re on the app or not), which allows you to discuss potential partners in your group chat before swiping left or right.
Best for: People who want their friends to play Cupid
If you’re tired of swiping and you have a bunch of friends to do your bidding, Chorus might be the one for you. You create your profile and select a “chorus” of loved ones who will swipe on your behalf. The app is meant to be a throwback to the days when pals would fix each other up. Chorus also has a feature called Date Roulette, whereby you’re paired with potential matches for five-minute video chats. It’s like speed dating without leaving your house.
Best for: Lesbian, queer, and bisexual women and nonbinary people
While many online dating apps aim for inclusivity, it’s still important to have a platform for queer women and nonbinary folks to call their own. HER lets you add your pronouns, gender identity, sexual orientation, and other fun facts to your bio, along with “Pride Pins” to help possible daters know you’re intersex or a queer POC, for example. Moderators actively work to ensure all users are treated with respect, so you won’t have to worry about fake profiles and homophobes. The free version is pretty limited though (and premium memberships cost around $15 per month), so keep that in mind before downloading.
Best for: Singles and couples open to consensual non-monogamy
If you’re looking for a threesome or want to explore polyamory, Feeld might be a contender. Couples can join the app together and single people can sign up on their own, and it’s open to all sexual orientations and gender identities. “My clients loved how Feeld allows them to be transparent about their interests without feeling out of place or judged,” Farahan says. Since everyone on the platform is at least remotely interested in a nontraditional arrangement, “it’s a pressure-free space and a breath of fresh air for anyone curious to explore new dynamics together.”
Article originally published on Self US
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